By Adele Fifield

At age 13, Adele Fifield was diagnosed with cancer and had her left leg amputated. Adele draws on her own experiences as an amputee and CHAMP Graduate to help other Champs and their families. This article details her thoughts and emotions from the time of diagnosis, having the operation to amputate her leg and having fittings for her artificial leg.

Dealing with an amputation is both frightening and frustrating. I knew very little about amputation when my doctor sat on my bedside and told me that I had cancer and in order to make me well they would have to amputate my leg.

The attitude of my parents and siblings was of the utmost importance in enabling me to handle the situation. Children are very perceptive and if parents are distraught and become depressed about their child's amputation, the child will react likewise. The child will understandably view amputation as something horrible if the child's parents are so upset. Although it is a difficult situation, the child should not be made to feel that it is insurmountable. Without encouragement, the child will feel inferior to those who have all their limbs and may become depressed and embarrassed about the artificial limb. Supportive parents, on the other hand, who show optimism and enthusiasm for the future, help the child gain the confidence to live with an amputation.

Dealing with amputation is difficult no matter what the cause. However, I believe that amputees who lose their limbs to cancer face two crises at once. Just the mention of the word cancer strikes fear in everyone. I remember the moment when the doctor told me they had to take my leg off because I had cancer. I first asked if I was going to die and then, practically in the same breath, if I would ever walk again. I just wasn't sure which to be more frightened of – the amputation or the cancer. On top of this I felt, as many new amputees do, that people might not like me anymore.

I found the best way to deal with things was to concentrate on handling the amputation – to work at getting back on my feet, even if one foot was artificial, as soon as possible. The fittings for the artificial leg took up a lot of time. And then there were hours of practice. Although often painful and frustrating, learning to get wherever I wanted to go on the artificial limb gave me confidence and hope that life would still be great in spite of amputation.

Granted it sometimes took a little longer to get where I wanted to go, and still does sometimes. I clearly remember one afternoon in the spring of the year after I had my amputation. It was just after a rainstorm and my girlfriend and I decided to walk to the local store. It took me three attempts just to get out of the lane from my house. Each time we left I fell flat on my face in a puddle in the lane and was covered in mud from head to toe! Of course at 13 years of age, I could not be seen in such a mess so I had to go home three times to change! I had to keep reminding myself that day, and continue to do so today, that with a little perseverance I can eventually accomplish whatever I want to do – it just might be done a little differently.

Meanwhile, as I was getting used to the artificial leg, the cancer was still very real. I underwent chemotherapy, which is often a part of cancer treatment, for nearly two years. The weeks spent in hospital, the needles and the extreme nausea were difficult to handle and left me fatigued. I found the loss of my hair very upsetting – at 13, my appearance was very important! All I could do, however, was accept it and just remember it would grow back. I can look back on it now and laugh at the times I had to hold on to my head for fear that my wig would blow off, or the nights it hung on the clothesline drying! I didn't see quite as much humour in it at the time, but trusted that it was for my own good.

The chemotherapy often left me very nauseous and with little energy. The strain of the illness and its treatment can lead to a lack of interest and motivation when being fitted with an artificial limb. It can also make a person more emotional and easily frustrated with the new limb. When amputees are fighting an illness at the same time and are not feeling physically up to par, they will have little desire to face their other needs such as learning to use an artificial limb. Parents and prosthetists must be patient with anyone being fitted with an artificial limb, but especially with those who are battling cancer at the same time. When working towards a proper fitting, I sometimes felt much discomfort and spent many long hours walking for the prosthetist. Some days, after a week of chemo, it was difficult to muster a lot of enthusiasm for a fitting. But then at other times, I was full of energy and ready to walk for miles.

I don't believe, however, that someone losing a limb due to an illness should be fitted with an artificial limb later than other amputees. Quite the contrary. It may simply require a little extra patience on the part of those involved with the fitting. I believe that by putting all my effort into getting back on my feet and subsequently back into my old life I had little time to worry about cancer. Fortunately, as soon as I was healed enough, about two months after my amputation, I was fitted with a temporary artificial limb and had little time for anything other than dealing with the literal "ups and downs" of getting used to my new leg. I might have become frightened if I had sat around all day thinking about the cancer. But everyone – my family, friends, doctors, nurses and prosthetists – were so intent on seeing me up and about again that I really believed everything would be fine.

I have now been an amputee and cancer free for over 20 years. There are still new challenges to face as an amputee with each new activity I try, and though I could not imagine wearing an artificial leg for 20 years when I started out, I now don't think twice about it and am thankful for the experience I have had and learned from.